SUPPORT GROUPS

RELATIVES OF PATIENTS
 

​ When a loved one is unwell, suffers from depression, an eating disorder or an addiction, we are deeply affected as well and can feel quite helpless. The unfortunate stigma around mental illness sometimes makes it difficult to talk about the pain we experience. Moreover, all too often relatives blame themselves for their loved ones' problems – "What did I do wrong? Is this my fault?" These torturous questions can feel like an earthquake that rattles our own mental stability; we become increasingly desperate and isolated.

It is enormously helpful and liberating to find oneself in a group of people undergoing similar experiences. Not only can we voice all those thoughts that have been racing through our heads, we also learn more about the illness itself. As our understanding grows and we connect with other group members, we regain our agency and can offer better support to our loved ones.

SURVIVORS OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE

Having been sexually abused as a child leaves us in a horrible predicament. Not only do we experience difficulties with trust and intimacy, we also find that this is an issue nobody else likes to hear about. We worry about burdening other people with our story and feel ashamed of our perceived inability to “get over it and look on the bright side of life”. All too often survivors of child sexual abuse muster up all their courage to confide in another person, only to be told to “let go and move on”. If only it were that easy.

In order to heal, your story needs to be heard. Survivors need to feel safe and held in order to address their trauma. Sometimes it is hard to talk about your story one-on-one because of the very setting that reminds you of the abuse: It often took place in a secluded room with just one other person and no witnesses. A support group may be particularly helpful in this context because it addresses both the issues of isolation and the fears of being unsafe. It offers a space where you can learn to feel held and cared for. The group members bear witness for each other and support one another on their road to recovery.

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SURVIVORS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT

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The trauma of having your boundaries violated can leave you isolated and stunned. After the initial shock and empathy from friends, relatives and colleagues, things go quiet and you can feel left alone and abandoned with your pain. Your body has healed, why doesn't your mind? The world may appear grey and hollow, nothing interests you, there is a deep emptiness inside. At the same time, there are triggers; the sound of loud noises, voices, or an unexpected movement, someone putting their arm on your shoulder can set of a chain reaction. Suddenly images flash through your mind or the horror wells up and seems to drown you -  you feel utterly afraid and helpless again.

People mean well when they suggest you should "get out more", "think of other things", "distract yourself". And you may try to play along, not wanting to reject them, trying for things to be "normal" but suffering and hurting inside.

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In order to heal, your story has to be told and relived several times. In a support group, surrounded by other survivors of sexual assault, you will be able to unload your burden and share: the pain, the shame, the horror, the trauma and the shattered world it has left in its wake. Together, we can talk, listen and heal, give and receive support and put the pieces back together.

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FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT ANALYTIC SUPPORT GROUPS

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• Will I receive advice or ‘tools’ from the group leaders/facilitators?

The purpose of the an analytic support  group is to attempt to get the members of the group, together with  the facilitators, to be a support to each other. This is achieved, not by one person holding all the answers.  It is run very differently from a workshop or a skills training group. This therefore means that the role of the facilitator is not to give advice or tell group members what to do, but let the whole group develop a life of its own, and for the members of the group to communicate with and be a support to each other.  The focus of the intervention is on the process of the group; that is how all the members of the group are impacting and influencing the trajectory and flow of the group.

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• Is this a space to make friends?

The group process is a space where connections can be formed. Being able to hear the experiences of several other people who have had a similar experience to you, helps you to recognise that you are not alone. This also serves as a space where you can get inspiration from other people’s stories and experiences. However, it is recommended that meeting up and regular contact outside of the group sessions be kept to a minimum for the duration of the group process.

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• What if I do not get along with or like the other members of the group?

Naturally, there is also a possibility for dissenting views and/or disagreements within the group. The existence of conflict and disagreement is an integral part of life. The group space assists in managing this conflict in a healthy way. While we understand that there can be a great deal of support and positive feelings that arise as a result of being part of a support group, negative feelings towards group members and/or facilitators are welcome and are explored and spoken about in the space. Refraining from contact with other members outside the group will assist in an increasing ability to bring all discomforts to the group space and allow the group, as a unit, to deal with any issues or difficulties you may be experiencing.

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• How can I guarantee that what I share will be kept confidential?

All group members endeavour not to talk about what happens in the group outside the group, in order to make the group process feel safe and beneficial to all members of the group. The facilitators of the group are professional mental health practitioners and are bound by ethics of their profession, which emphasises confidentiality, unless someone is a danger to themselves or someone else.

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• Is being part of a support group the same as going for counselling/psychotherapy and is there a need to continue with my individual counselling/psychotherapy if I am part of a support group?

A support group is by no means a replacement of one’s individual psychotherapy/counselling sessions. It is important to continue/start with these regularly.